Wednesday, January , 07, 2009

How to Get a Shy Man to Ask You Out

As a dating coach, one of the top questions that I get is,"How to seduce a shy man."

Well the answer is easily. Shy men are usually grateful to have you approach them. They may be in absolute love or lust with you but feel like it will never happen because they can not drum up the nerve to approach you.

Just like we sometimes think guys are out of our league, men sometimes feel the same way about us. They are afraid of being ridiculed and rejected. A shy guy may have this fear in abundance.

By approaching him, you take that pressure away. Do it slowly. Strike up a conversation the first time. Invite him for coffee the next, etc.

Try to get him to laugh at a joke. Humor is a great way to break the ice and put him at ease.

Also give him non verbal signs that you are interested.

I will break this down in to three parts:

1) How to Flirt – You can do more flirting with your eyes than with any other technique. Look at him then look away then look back again. Or stare him right in the eyes and hold his gaze then smile real slow.

Use the quick lip lick. The hair toss. The hair curl around the finger technique.

Try this eyebrow raise, that I mention in my book. Do a double to really get his attention.

We are all born with the ability to flirt. Look at any two year old and you can see it. We start flirting young then end up getting guilted out of doing it or warned against doing it because of office politics. You know how. You are simply out of practice. So that is your fun assignment for the day – practice, practice, practice.

2) When to flirt – Flirt when you are truly interested, flirt when you want the other person to feel good, flirt when you are feeling good yourself. There is no hard and fast rule about flirting.

3) When not to flirt – Don not take your level of flirting farther than you want to go. Don not flirt with someone you know really likes you if you do not share those feelings. Don not flirt with someone whos job might be at stake if taken the wrong way. Do not flirt with your best friends boyfriend.

Walk into the situation knowing that you are beautiful, desireable, funny and intelligent. You may end up being the one to ask him out.

A confident woman always looks more attractive. Do whatever it takes to achieve that confidence.

1) Take the time to fix yourself up before leaving home.
2) Put on a scent that makes you feel sexy.
3) Dress in a way that makes you feel desireable without exposing too much.
4) Plan topics of conversation ahead of time, if you like.
5) Take beauty classes or etiquette classes if you feel that will help.
6) Develop one area of yourself that you excel at and you will have a topic of conversation that you can talk passionately about. That passion will come through in the flush of your cheeks and the sparkle in your eyes.

Once he understands that you really like him, Mr. Shy guy may be ready to direct a few interesting suggestions in your direction.